[personal profile] trinityday
Title: Twitter Hack (this will change)
Fandom: MCU/Avengers
Characters: Tony, Bruce
Word Count: 1071
Written for: [livejournal.com profile] comment_fic MCU, Tony (+ any), he hacks his own twitter account

Bruce had grown pretty good at blocking out the sounds in the lab, especially now that Tony was back in New York--the other man liked to keep a running commentary of what he was doing whenever Bruce was in the room--but he’d also spent years learning to tune into any signs of danger so he slowly became aware that Tony’s mutterings were registering just as that in his subconscious.

“I can’t believe they--does no one know the definition of ‘secure’ anymore? What were they thinking? Leaving this open to anyone with a keyboard and an internet connection.”

“You aren’t hacking into S.H.I.E.L.D servers again, are you? I thought Natasha told you what would happen the next time you did that.”

“Natasha doesn’t scare me,” Tony lied through his teeth.

It would make for a very uncomfortable meeting, the next time the six of them tried to remember they were a team, but Bruce wasn’t sure how to point this out before Tony cleared his throat and continued.

“But no, this has nothing to do with S.H.I.E.L.D. It’s Twitter.”

“Twitter?” Bruce repeated, not sure he’d understood right.

“You know, 140 characters, home of tweets, 2009 word of the year, which, yeah, I know, is years ago now, but that just means even you hiding away in Timbuktu or Tristan du Cunha or wherever should have heard of it by now.

Bruce took off his glasses and cleaned them on the hem of his shirt. He wasn’t sure he wanted the answer, but he was equally sure now that he’d engaged Tony he wasn’t going to get back to work until he’d asked. “I’ve heard of Twitter, Tony. But why are you hacking into it?--or why are you upset that it’s so easy to hack into it?”

“It shouldn’t be so easy to break through their security. And stop saying ‘hack’. You and Rhodey… wait, you haven’t met Rhodey. You need to meet Rhodey. He’s great. Colonel. Saved the president, which you would already know if you could stay awake longer than a koala. Doesn’t have great taste in names, I mean War Machine isn’t so bad but can you imagine not objecting to Iron Patriot?”

Bruce breathed in. Tony was one of the smartest men Bruce knew and he never remembered that someone might take it the wrong way that he wanted to introduce them to the military that had spent years tracking him across four continents.

“Tony,” he said, slowly and deliberately because he hoped that might make Tony concentrate on the question he was really asking, “Why are you trying to…” Bruce hesitated, because Tony had an objection to the word ‘hack’ that would likely derail the conversation again--”What made you, uh, test Twitter’s security?”

“Pep’s away,” said Tony, “and when I called her all she did was shout in my ear that it’s four in the morning, or something, and that she’s jetlagged.”

“You promised not to bother her for anything less than a world-class emergency,” Bruce reminded him. He’d been in the room when Pepper and Tony had argued over what constituted a world-class emergency and he doubted this, whatever this was, would have made the list.

“J.A.R.V.I.S. said something like that, too, when I asked him to call her.”

“So you ignored both of them because…” Bruce trailed off and shrugged. He knew Tony would complete the sentence.

“Because I have something very important that I have to tweet and Pepper keeps track of my passwords.”

“You called Pepper even though it’s three a.m. in Shanghai because you forgot your password?” Bruce knew his voice sounded strained. Tony wouldn’t care. It was almost nice, having someone who knew not spend all his time waiting for Bruce to explode. Almost nice. He did have to deal with Tony in general in return.

“Couldn’t your-- your tweet wait?” Bruce couldn’t resist asking.

Tony swirled around in his chair so that he was facing Bruce. “I have lots to say to the world. It’s important.”

“Please tell me the thing that was so important doesn’t have the punchline ‘for science’. Or ‘vodka’,” Bruce muttered. Tony tended to make his favourite memes known to all who would listen and many who wouldn’t.

Without even turning around to look at his keyboard, Tony pressed a button. Bruce’s computer beeped in response. It really shouldn’t have, but Bruce couldn’t find it in him to be surprised that Tony’s twitter feed and its latest masterpiece popped up on his screen. Bruce read it. At this point, he wasn’t sure he had a choice. In Tony’s defence, it had nothing to do with science and only minimal reference to alcohol. And the link, when it opened, did have a puppy with the cutest case of vertigo imaginable.

Bruce took off his glasses again, this time to press the bridge of his nose. “You know there’s a ‘forgot your password’ option for that? You don’t have to resort to hacking just because Pepper’s out of the country?”

Tony hesitated just long enough for Bruce to discount everything he said. “It’s funner this way.”

“Is it? Are you sure you just didn’t know about it?” asked Bruce.

Tony changed the subject, but the answer had already been obvious. “You should be more worried about this. It’s your privacy I’m worried about, too. You wouldn’t want someone using your account and impersonating you, would you?”

“I don’t have a Twitter account,” Bruce said. “I don’t have to worry about someone impersonating me.”

“Uh huh.” Tony might have agreed, but there was enough of a smile at the corner of his lips to make Bruce worry.

“Tony?” Bruce should have dropped it, but instead he found himself prompting his friend to explain.

“I’m just saying your big green alter ego really likes the short format.”

Bruce tried to hold out, but he always had been too curious for his own good. Luckily, Tony had anticipated this and did something that he, for some reason, didn’t want to call hacking. The page was up on Bruce’s computer by the time he broke his staring contest with Tony and with a sinking heart, and a rapidly expanding headache, Bruce settled in to read what gems the Hulk decided to share with the world.

He’d had such high hopes about being productive today, too.



October 2013

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